Doug Hutchison, you sir are a true patriot. Keep fighting for what is right. Perhaps some of you less-informed folk are asking yourself "who the hell is Doug Hutchison?" Glad you asked. Doug Hutchison is a 51 year-old actor who appeared in The Green Mile as the sadistic prison guard Percy, one of the most memorable villains in recent memory. He also appeared in some show called "Lost".
How does one man's acting in a few roles make him a true hero? It doesn't. Last month, Doug Hutchison married his one true love. Love is something we here at Why I'm Better Than You support and truly believe in. Some of you "social conservatives" and naysayers may have a problem with Doug Hutchison's choice of love. Is it a man? No, that would be illegal in most states. It happens to be 16 year-old Courtney Alexis Stodden, an amateur model, singer and Youtube video-er. Marrying a 16 yer old girl, unlike marrying a member of the same sex even if of majority age, is legal in almost all states with parental consent. Here's a glimpse of her vast talents:
While some of you who have no musical taste at all may criticize her video for being "the worst thing to happen to America since 9/11" and "sounding like a nightmarish Girl Talk-esque mashup of 'Friday' meets 'Believe' by Cher (that awful song that helped to unleash the monstrosity of auto-tune upon the masses), you are incorrect. This 16 year old girl, actually woman, since she is married, has quite possibly recorded the greatest song to hit the airwaves since "We Built This City".
Why would an A-lister with over two feature films under his belt marry a girl who is slightly younger? Talent recognizes talent. Mr. Hutchison was great in The Green Mile and he might even be in another movie someday. Mrs. Hutchison is one of the greatest singers to come out of Ocean Shores, WA, in over ten years. They may be the best power-couple since Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Some people may call Mr. Hutchison a creepy old man. Some would go as far as to call his new bride a teenage bimbo. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mr. Hutchison is one of the greatest actors to hit the silver screen since Sir Laurence Olivier, and his wife is hands down the greatest female the world has seen since Cleopatra. May God bless these true soulmates with many, many years (lord knows Courtney has plenty left) of happily wedded bliss.
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